Monday, June 18, 2012
Hey! Since when did u sneaked into my world????? I dun remember letting anyone entering...somehow u entered...my heart..xD
Thursday, May 31, 2012
FuuuuFuuuuu..............fufu ninja????? 何これ?? Warcraft? Why never heard if it before??! Snatch car key from papa, ignore that the car doesnt have a p licence sticker...ignore dat I have no right to drive dat damned clumsy car!!!! But the clumsy huge car can fly! Chiong aaah!! Chiong back home...拆窝find my long host hidden treasure--the mighty sorcerous pendrive! Without realizing I was about to break my bless...Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）
Lucky enough dat I still has a will to stop myself...I dunno why dat pendrive still has such immense power after such a long long time enough to attract me back into darkness, those 颓废的黑暗日子…日作夜，夜昨日…可以三餐绝食成仙的恶魔！now that Im pulled out from hell by my 罗嗦暴力狂奶妈s……已经告诉过自己，许下承诺不再碰它。要也等到危险期过了，毕业了再做个小恶魔也不迟！怎么定力还不够顶住诱惑？囧rz
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The Blade Of Times
The blue ball point pen of mine drew the last circle on the last test paper.
A chinese full-stop...
Like the blade of times~cutting off the times of teenage
The end of the 3rd big test of my life-SPM (not gonna express much on how i did on it...in short: GG) is also the sign of the disappearance of my teenage life
The blade of times,
slashed away the colours i created during my teenage years...from red to crimson
the reds when i used to run about the school yards,
the crimsons when i used to get mad on silly things...get sad due to some small fries of problems
now i am back to white~
whats left behind undamaged by that slash, is just a piece of memory that may fade in the future...bleached
as if everything that happens all these years are just a dream...that im now awaken by that swish of that evil blade...getting to get myself armed for whatever is awaiting me behind the door to the outside world
The blade of times,
slashed away the wonderland....slashed away the fantasy world i used to live in along these years
Protected by the weak shield of purity....In that splint of a second when the blade swings its way, destroyed that thin sheath
the immunity no longer helps...im now on my own...creating my own immunity
whatever it is....it is no longer something thin, but thick layers of shield from other intruders that saturated the outside world...
We are no longer protected by others but only by ourselves...whatever wound i got...is no longer an asset to gain others attention but owns awareness from further critical stabs
The blade of times,
slashed away the bonds within friends and comrades that was made al these years...it may not be instant but its a torturing cut
the road we're going through...has been separated into thousands of strands...thanks to the sharp blade...
The only thing we can now hope for....is that may our paths meet again, even if its just a cross...without even dare to think of the path being stick together in the future
The path we are going for is no longer the same...so does our obstacles ahead...some are hard, some are less difficult, but none are a straight smooth road without a sigle dust.
The only thing we can now hope for...may the strong bond between us never weakens despite the distance between us getting further apart...
The blade of times,
the only self-comforting thank you...is that it also slashed away the painful things....giving me a new fields of hope to seek for something that sounds right to me...giving me a new life, which gives me the chance to open my wings wide...to the other side...giving me a chance to make a change....
Now i can seek for my own truth, shaping a new way of life....to grow larger...and of course...stronger....
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Back to emo state
Im back! Finaly back! Who can i blame but my zodiac leo on behalf of my laziness!? been to lazy to change my template! Oook! I promise myself....to change the template IF i got the time to on my pc tmr...kena scolded for hours due to overtimed of onlining.... How can i resist the seduction after such a long time of nose-sticking on books!? Thick books! Now finished biology the no.1 osama look-alike enemy...its like a huge load on me suddenly dissappear in thin air....how can i not float!? Imma shoot up high into the sky after chinese man! Who cares by then? Owh...national service...yah imma enjoy that though its electronics-disabled by then, at least physical trainings is on my way!(hope the gender problems like manstrual wont block my way to happiness those days....== till now i still cant find any significance being a girl....heck! Why im not given a penis since im given an adam's apple already!?
Back to the blogging stuffs....now AS IF exam is over, i've been giving lots of attention on exam issue and now suddenly in a huge relief...brain suddenly being emptied out...now i feel empty and loss, total out of expectations that i should be feeling happy and enjoy the holiday. The brain, from scientific mode being suddenly changed to emotion-dealing mode...everything i put down before exam rushes in like a huge current flowing in...somore the time of spice...adding taste into these, heck suffocating!! Sigh...now looking at my template...how i used to be so crazy n happy go lucky! Now its conquered by all kinds of feelings from leaving apart with friends and other not-supposed-to-deal issues...now i guess i needa find some other emo templates and change the songs ald....goodbye childhoods! Hoped to see u again within i short period of time... Needa enjoy childhood before getting out of school life, into the nasty world! Now i hope university life is still something enjoyable...i wonder hows germany uni life on the other side of my world...seems like im going there for further studies after form6....free educations discluding daily expances! How nice of it!
9 more days...its gonna be 1 year annivarsary of my taiwan trip with awesome peoplez! Also the day i know the "good friend" of mine...how stupid,its been more than half a year of disconnection...yet im still giving useless hope at the same time discouraging myself about it and tried hard to make things fade...how great, the stain still remain as if its never washed before...
Ive been listening to many bitter stories...but nvr told mine to anyone, why am i so stubborn? Keeping this to myself...but who to trust? Best friend doesnt mean its a suitable person to share with...the more u share the more u get relieved but at the same time many things can happen without expectation...the safest secret is kept within oneselves...thats my way...how can u call that a secret when theres others knowing it? But, still...desperately waiting for a black hole to at least share my secrets...my locker is somehow full already...
Saturday, October 1, 2011
一切突然大于成绩！
忘了怎么改变主意，记忆不好其实也是好事，
少计较些，开心些
一直坚持到底, 不惜一切坚持到底
就是因为坚持，无形伤害了身边的朋友
为什么之前就是那么坚持，甚至愿意损掉自己名誉，
落到如此堕落的地步，已看到眼前的是一条死路都要往前冲…
就是不服气，那个懒骄老师不断输入冲动的血进入体内，淹没头脑
不懂怎样头脑终于浮出水面来了，阻止一切冲动的举动
现在想回去，自己为了胜过那个懒骄…鲁莽追求成绩的我
都不只要说幼稚还是可爱
忘了过程才是重要之处
即使得到自己希望的结果，也不一定了断跟对手的恩怨
反正对手从来都不是那个懒骄！
而是自己，那个记仇的自己
过了自己那关，其实她不再是什么眼中钉了
而只不过是个人生道路上，让你绊倒的小石头罢了
我应该谢谢这个小懒骄呢！
跌伤的伤口康复后，就是一层跟坚硬的新皮
就是这块石头，
让我对这条道路留下深刻的印象
让我更珍惜走这条路的时光
带着伤口爬起来后，就从新开始，慢慢地，继续走下去
就在这时，才发现路途中的美丽
才发现途中得到的，比马路尾段来得更有意义
这一切努力的过程
无形让我跟一班同学团结起来，当然也少许改观了，不，应该说，开始接受她们的缺点
让我了解这个小社会，校内的种种人格
也让我受得起一些零下一百度的冷水，受得起那一路来让我或滚的摄氏一千度之火
日后还有更猛热的火等着我去忍受，还有更冰冷的水等着来扑灭掉我热烈精神
这一切，算得了啥呀？
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A Torturing Lead
Wanted to drain beer, but saw none in the refrigerator.
Nothing went well...any exam paper distributed today is a total mess! Any plans ongoing today is a total fail!
yeas....got shot~but din fight back, the reason is: they are my close friends
yes, I din listen to all on how they felt...
yes, I may not be a good leader, that failed to unite everyone
yeah i admit! My thoughts may be childish~thinking of achieving things that is nearly impossible...things so-called totally impossible in your eyes!
i asked everyone to do so...but! one thing is definite....
this bunch of people may be hard to unite....to unite is impossible but i believe in unity!(childish?)
the only thing i'm certain of is: "impossible" is not found in my dictionary...yes im childish
another childish quote from me is: impossibility occur is because of matured people having the word "impossible" locked in their mind~
i'm totally speechless now....i've got nothing to say in front of u guys...who were close to me...
but what i really wanna say is: i'm really tired of it.....
but i will not let everyone know....because i must not fall in front of everyone--ugly
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Footsteps
"Me and XX used to went there to drink, then Vicky will just go to climb a tree when she gets bored"
Some details i cant listen properly with the earplug on both ears of mine, but immediately i remove them off when i saw "Vicky climbing a tree" shaped out from the mighty mom's lips! What!!?? My sister climbs a tree!!???
"Huh!? Old sis you said??!! Are you sure...?"
"Yeah~well...she's not that fragile and princess-like back then..."
No one actually believes that including the quiet dad who eats quietly with his ears wide...and he simply replied:"I think u got the wrong person, should be Shan Shan lah....."
But its definitely not me...i remember myself climbing everything but trees till recently....Well, me and my sis is said to be from a totally different dimension. I'm short and look average; shes abnormally tall and beautiful, I'm a person who always get misunderstood as a boy; shes one who gets the spotlight wherever she goes.....
Duh, in short terms, from head to toe, outside to inside personality...we're a total perfect antonym terms. Which makes me feel lucky all the time, to me being beautiful is something real unlucky...(the reason is totally simple so i dun think i need to explain) and she has a very very fragile heart which is never on her own hand but on other man's...It's something very very heartbreaking to see her demand happiness from love ones instead of finding happiness herself...then ended up losing herself
Yes we might be completely different...but see her change to this shape makes me feel so not safe! Heavens! will i follow her footsteps indirectly without notice...?Real nightmare if that happens....
I may not be willing to follow those footsteps that lead to sorrow, but these footsteps are holes, one foot that are near to the hole is very easy to drop into one those after all. Without noticing, i've stepping on some of these footsteps...geli...
Looking at her life that seems not belonged to her, is horrible to a so-far me who wants an own life without being controlled, This phenomena on her, everything started since the day she released the fragile heart from her hand and gave it to another man...
And i seems to start sharing mine to one person as well...its horrible enough even though i havent release my hand...I'm trying my best to hold that thing which is already have several cuts...(to be frank here since not much visits here, the thing that is located on the left side of my chest is actually a weak thingy that wears a heavy metal...tiring...really) Giving half a heart to others is a real pain...i cant imagine her giving the whole thing~I know she realizes doing this is the main core problem....but still....sigh...
That is why i'm really afraid of....what if....i lost grip of that metal!?
