Saturday, September 24, 2011
Footsteps
"Me and XX used to went there to drink, then Vicky will just go to climb a tree when she gets bored"
Some details i cant listen properly with the earplug on both ears of mine, but immediately i remove them off when i saw "Vicky climbing a tree" shaped out from the mighty mom's lips! What!!?? My sister climbs a tree!!???
"Huh!? Old sis you said??!! Are you sure...?"
"Yeah~well...she's not that fragile and princess-like back then..."
No one actually believes that including the quiet dad who eats quietly with his ears wide...and he simply replied:"I think u got the wrong person, should be Shan Shan lah....."
But its definitely not me...i remember myself climbing everything but trees till recently....Well, me and my sis is said to be from a totally different dimension. I'm short and look average; shes abnormally tall and beautiful, I'm a person who always get misunderstood as a boy; shes one who gets the spotlight wherever she goes.....
Duh, in short terms, from head to toe, outside to inside personality...we're a total perfect antonym terms. Which makes me feel lucky all the time, to me being beautiful is something real unlucky...(the reason is totally simple so i dun think i need to explain) and she has a very very fragile heart which is never on her own hand but on other man's...It's something very very heartbreaking to see her demand happiness from love ones instead of finding happiness herself...then ended up losing herself
Yes we might be completely different...but see her change to this shape makes me feel so not safe! Heavens! will i follow her footsteps indirectly without notice...?Real nightmare if that happens....
I may not be willing to follow those footsteps that lead to sorrow, but these footsteps are holes, one foot that are near to the hole is very easy to drop into one those after all. Without noticing, i've stepping on some of these footsteps...geli...
Looking at her life that seems not belonged to her, is horrible to a so-far me who wants an own life without being controlled, This phenomena on her, everything started since the day she released the fragile heart from her hand and gave it to another man...
And i seems to start sharing mine to one person as well...its horrible enough even though i havent release my hand...I'm trying my best to hold that thing which is already have several cuts...(to be frank here since not much visits here, the thing that is located on the left side of my chest is actually a weak thingy that wears a heavy metal...tiring...really) Giving half a heart to others is a real pain...i cant imagine her giving the whole thing~I know she realizes doing this is the main core problem....but still....sigh...
That is why i'm really afraid of....what if....i lost grip of that metal!?
